swag won’t pay the bills but apparently neither will your degree


i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember i dont even like me


*steals ur girl* *mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*


if I lie here

if I just lay here

I’ll probably fall asleep so leave me alone


straight boys a summary 


the only time i run is when i have to save my laptop from dying 

  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*